I had just finished a powerful money tapping session. I was high on gratitude, joy, and abundance. I could feel the future arriving ripe and golden. I danced with my visions, I imagined holding a check worth crores, and it didn’t feel far-fetched. It felt possible. It felt like mine.
And then… I spent a small amount of money.
Not on something frivolous. Not irresponsibly. Just a small subscription to something I loved: an audiobook app. I’d waited, checked all the discounts, and finally hit “Pay” from a place of calm, not desperation.
But the minute the transaction went through, a knot hit my stomach. My body felt like it had done something wrong. Like I had betrayed abundance by spending casually. Even though it was aligned, even though it felt expansive, my body braced.
And that told me something.
I wasn’t afraid of being broke. I was afraid of being wrong with money.
The Weight of Worthiness
What if I waste it? The panic wasn’t about the amount. It was about the worthiness. “Am I allowed to spend this if I’m not earning a fixed income?” “Am I disrespecting money if I buy something just because I want to, not because I need to?”
It wasn’t logic. It was a nervous system contraction. A deep-rooted belief whispering: “You must spend perfectly, or you’ll lose divine favor.”
Sound familiar?
If you’ve ever felt that familiar twist in your stomach after making a purchase even a small, thoughtful one you’re not alone. This isn’t about being financially irresponsible. This is about something much deeper. It’s about the stories we carry about what we deserve, and the invisible rules we’ve created around receiving.
I see you there, second-guessing yourself. Wondering if you’re “allowed” to want what you want. If you’re doing abundance “right.” If you’re worthy of the ease you’re calling in.
Let me tell you something that might change everything: You don’t need permission to receive. You don’t need to earn your joy. You don’t need to justify your desires to anyone—not even to yourself.
The Root of the Fear
I realized my fear wasn’t about money itself. It was about what money symbolized: worthiness, safety, divine respect. And underneath that? A childhood wired to be responsible, helpful, perfect.
- I grew up in a space where joy came after chores.
- Where spending needed justification.
- Where receiving was conditional on how “good” you had been.
- Where money was sacred, but not in the abundant way in the fearful way.
Maybe you recognize this pattern too. Maybe you learned that money was something to be hoarded, not enjoyed. That spending was something to feel guilty about, not grateful for. That receiving required you to prove your worth first.
These aren’t just thoughts they’re nervous system patterns. They’re the way our bodies learned to survive in environments that taught us scarcity was safer than abundance. That being small was better than being seen. That receiving too much would somehow make us selfish or ungrateful.
But here’s what I want you to know: those patterns served you once. They kept you safe in a world that felt uncertain. They helped you navigate spaces where resources felt limited. They taught you to be careful, considerate, aware.
And now? Now they’re ready to evolve.
The Prison of Perfectionism
So even as I rise into new levels of abundance and healing, my body sometimes defaults to the old software: guilt, caution, and self-doubt. The belief that there’s a “perfect” way to use money, and if I deviate from it, I’ll somehow lose my connection to abundance.
This perfectionism around money shows up in so many ways:
Researching every purchase for weeks, even small ones. Feeling guilty about buying something you genuinely love. Worrying that spending money will somehow block more from coming. Believing that you need to be earning a certain amount before you’re “allowed” to enjoy what you have. Feeling like you need to justify every expense to an invisible jury.
The truth? There is no perfect way to use money. There’s no cosmic accountant keeping track of whether you deserve that coffee, that book, that moment of joy. There’s no abundance police waiting to revoke your manifesting privileges because you bought something that made you smile.
What Helped Me Ground Again
After the panic, I breathed. I reminded myself that this fear was old. I did a tapping session around “I’m allowed to spend. I’m allowed to receive. I am still safe.”
The tapping helped, but what really shifted everything was this: I imagined the Universe hugging me. Not judging me. Not warning me. Just proud of how far I’ve come. Saying: “You’re not wasting anything. You’re flowing. Keep going.”
That vision helped me remember what abundance feels like. It’s not tight, controlled, or fearful. It’s expansive, trusting, and generous—with others and with yourself.
I thought about all the times I’d given freely to others without expecting them to justify their worth. I thought about how I’d never judge a friend for buying something that brought them joy. I thought about how love doesn’t come with conditions, and neither does abundance.
And I realized: the same grace I extend to others, I’m allowed to give to myself.
The Practice of Receiving
Here’s what I’ve learned about receiving: it’s not a destination, it’s a practice. Every time you allow yourself to have something you want without guilt, you’re practicing. Every time you spend money from a place of alignment rather than fear, you’re practicing. Every time you choose ease over struggle, you’re practicing.
And like any practice, it gets easier the more you do it.
I started small. I bought the audiobook subscription and practiced feeling grateful instead of guilty. I celebrated the fact that I could afford something I wanted. I thanked my past self for making choices that led to this moment of abundance.
Then I practiced bigger. I bought groceries without calculating every rupee. I said yes to experiences that felt expansive. I invested in tools and resources that supported my growth without needing to justify them to anyone.
Each time, I reminded myself: This is what abundance feels like. This is what it looks like to trust that there’s enough. This is what it means to receive.
The Frequency of Abundance
Abundance isn’t just about having money it’s about the frequency you hold around money. It’s about the energy you bring to receiving. It’s about the story you tell yourself about what you deserve.
When you’re in the frequency of abundance, spending doesn’t feel like loss—it feels like flow. It feels like participating in the beautiful exchange of energy that keeps the world moving. It feels like saying yes to yourself, to life, to the possibility that you’re worthy of ease and joy.
When you’re in the frequency of scarcity, every expense feels like a threat. Every purchase feels like a step closer to not having enough. Every moment of joy feels borrowed, temporary, somehow wrong.
The beautiful thing is: you get to choose which frequency you tune into. You get to choose which story you tell yourself about money. You get to choose what abundance means to you.
Rewriting the Story
So if you’ve ever spent money and felt a wave of guilt after:
- It doesn’t mean you’re not abundant.
- It doesn’t mean you made a mistake.
- It simply means a younger version of you needs reassurance.
You’re practicing a new frequency. You’re building trust with yourself. You’re learning to receive without having to earn every drop of joy. And that is sacred.
This is the work of abundance: not just calling in more money, but healing your relationship with the money you have. Not just manifesting bigger numbers, but feeling worthy of the numbers you already see. Not just attracting abundance, but allowing yourself to actually receive it.
The Nervous System Healing
Our nervous systems are wise. They remember everything. They remember the times when resources were scarce. They remember the messages we received about money, worth, and safety. They remember the moments when receiving felt dangerous or wrong.
But they also have the capacity to learn new patterns. They can remember new experiences of safety, abundance, and flow. They can learn to associate receiving with joy instead of guilt. They can discover that abundance is not something to be feared, but something to be celebrated.
This is why the body response to spending can feel so intense. It’s not just about the money it’s about all the stories, fears, and beliefs that money represents. It’s about the younger parts of us that learned to be careful, responsible, perfect.
Those parts need our compassion, not our judgment. They need our reassurance, not our resistance. They need to know that it’s safe to receive, safe to spend, safe to want what we want.
Gentle Reminders for Your Journey
As you navigate your own relationship with money and abundance, here are some gentle reminders to carry with you:
- You don’t need to spend perfectly to be blessed. There’s no cosmic test you need to pass. There’s no perfect formula for abundance. There’s just you, learning to trust yourself and your desires.
- You’re allowed to buy things that make you smile. Joy is not frivolous. Happiness is not selfish. The things that light you up are worthy of investment.
- You’re allowed to live a soft, supported life. You don’t need to choose struggle to prove your worth. You don’t need to make things harder than they need to be.
- You’re not lazy for wanting ease. Ease is not the enemy of growth. Ease is the natural state of someone who trusts that they’re supported.
- You’re not wasteful for saying yes to yourself. Every time you honor your desires, you’re telling the Universe that you’re ready to receive more.
The Permission You’re Looking For
If you’re reading this and wondering if you have permission to want what you want, to spend what you want to spend, to receive what you want to receive this is it. This is your permission slip.
You’re allowed to want nice things. You’re allowed to spend money on experiences that bring you joy. You’re allowed to invest in yourself, your growth, your happiness. You’re allowed to receive without guilt, without shame, without the need to justify every decision.
You’re allowed to be abundant. You’re allowed to be supported. You’re allowed to be someone who flows with money instead of fighting it.
When the Guilt Arises
And when the guilt arises because it probably will, because healing isn’t linear remember this: the guilt is not a sign that you’re doing something wrong. It’s a sign that you’re doing something new.
Every time you choose abundance over scarcity, you’re rewiring old patterns. Every time you receive without guilt, you’re creating new neural pathways. Every time you spend from alignment instead of fear, you’re teaching your nervous system that it’s safe to have what you want.
This is the real work of abundance: not just calling in more, but healing your capacity to receive what’s already here.
Your Joy Is Not a Liability
And if no one told you this today: Your joy is not a liability. Your desires are not mistakes. You are not asking for too much. You are asking for what was always meant to be yours.
The Universe is not keeping score. Abundance is not a limited resource. Your receiving does not take away from someone else’s abundance. Your joy does not require justification.
You are worthy of ease. You are worthy of flow. You are worthy of a life that feels good, not just a life that looks good.
Let it come. Let it be easy. Let it be yours.
The future you’re calling in? It’s already here, waiting for you to feel worthy of receiving it. The abundance you’re manifesting? It’s already yours, waiting for you to stop apologizing for wanting it.
You don’t need to earn your way into abundance. You don’t need to prove your worth to receive. You don’t need to be perfect to be blessed.
You just need to be you. Beautiful, deserving, worthy you.
And that, my dear friend, is more than enough.
Remember: You are not broken. You are not behind. You are exactly where you need to be, learning to receive the abundance that has always been yours.
— Riddhi, Euphoria Within
